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Aminet 21
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Aminet 21 (1997)(GTI - Schatztruhe)[!][Oct 1997].iso
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Quotes
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1997-06-23
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549 lines
" " - Confucious
" " - Lao Tzu
" " - Marcel Marceau
" ", said Tom blankly.
"" " """ " "" " """ <-- random quotes
"*NOBODY* expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
"...and in this cartooney, we're invading your PC!"
"...or worse, not to have a mind" -Dan Quayle
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
"640K ought to be enough for anybody" -Bill Gates, 1981
"640K should be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"A broken clock keeps better time than you!" (Tegan)
"A duel of wits? To the DEATH?"
"A lie is terminological inexactitude." Churchill
"A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck." Garfield
"A war put off is not a war avoided." -- C. Heston
"Ah-ha! They take me for the fool I am!" -Groo the Wanderer
"Ahh... AHH... *CHOOOO!* I'm allergic to taglines!"
"Alex, I'll take Things Only I Know for $1000."
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." -- shaw
"All I know is I am not a Marxist." -- Marx
"All life's answers are on TV" -Homer Simpson
"All right, we'll call it a draw!" -The Black Knight
"All these doughnuts and not a cop in sight!"
"All's well that ends well." -Poe "Bother." -Pooh
"Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in 'ere?"
"And don't talk to the audience!"
"And how do we begin to envy?" -- Hannibal Lecter
"And now for this week's request death."
"And now the penguin on top of your television set will explode."
"And now, Radio Four will explode."
"And now...Number one...The larch..."
"And Our product is SQL ready", Borland International.
"And what do you burn apart from witches?"
"Anybody hear any good jokes lately?" -- Pee Wee Herman
"Anyone see a war around here?" Patton or Bill Gates
"Anyone...anyone...Bueller...Bueller...?"
"Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" "No, I hate myself now."
"Are you Mary, Queen of Scots?"
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?"
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9-21." -Maynard
"Arthur Phili... I've done you before, haven't I?"
"At last I'm organized", he sighed, and died.
"Aye yam Drak-kul-lah... Aye bid yoo velcome." -- Dracula
"BAM.. BAM.. BAM.." Bam Bam Ruble
"Be kind to animals, everybody. They're reincarnated relatives."
"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet! I'm hunting wabbits!"
"Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "Will a 2 X 4 do, Captain?"
"Beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Ok, but stop me at 1...well, 1:30."
"Beware the fury of a patient man." -- Dryden
"Bicycle Repair Man! But...how?!?"
"Bite me! Suck me! Make me drink blood!" -- the Vampire motto.
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
"Bob it? H*ll, she cut it clean off!" --John Bobbit
"Boop Boop Bee Boop" - Marilyn Monroe
"Bordem is the highest mental state." * Einstein
"Bother", said Pooh, as he reached for the reset button.
"Bother," said Pooh as he received his CompuServe bill.
"But I don't like the cat..." "Shut up and eat your dinner!"
"But I know my hole from an arse in the ground." Nina
"But Warden, I like Joe." "Shut up and pull the switch."
"But, I *DO* know everything" -Q
"But, Mother! I don't want to grow up!"
"Captain, a Klingon does NOT play tetris."
"Captain, I sense an imminent commercial break." -Troi
"Captain, please. Not in front of the Klingons." -Spock, ST:V
"Cardinal Fang! Fetch...the comfy chair!"
"Cats. Cats are nice." -Death
"Chiun, you're incredible." "No, I am better than that!"
"Clinton promises to spread the pain" - Jim Miklashevski, NBC News
"Come and see the violence inherent in the system!" -Peasant
"Computer, you and I need to have a little talk." --O'Brien
"Constitution? What Constitution?" - Wm. J. Clinton
"Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing"
"Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse" -Japanese proverb
"Dead men tell no tales."
"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it a bit."
"Did you sew a button on my coat?" "No, I sewed the hole closed instead."
"Did you take his temperature?" "No, why, is it missing?"
"Die, Earth scum!"
"Dieting Made Easy" by Ann O'Rexic
"Do I detect a note of panic in your voice?"
"Do you always begin conversations this way?" -The Man In Black
"Do you serve crabs here?" "Yes, madam, we serve anyone."
"Doctor, are cranberries healthy?" "I've never heard one complain."
"Does this seem weird to anybody else?" - Garth
"Don't be a fool, padlock your tool." --John Bobbit
"Don't leave home without it." --John Bobbit
"Don't you want some more alphabet soup?" "No, I can't eat another word."
"Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait until lunchtime!"
"Earth: Mostly Harmless."
"Easy credit, terms available..." -Satan
"Eeeney-Meeney, Chili-Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!" --Bullwinkle
"Energize, Mr. Scott. Hey...where'd this bunny come from?"
"Et tu, @N@?" -Julius Caesar
"Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley..."
"Every once in a while, stop and enjoy an ice cream cone." -Einstein
"Every Time You Go Away (You Take a Piece of Me with You)" by John Bobbit
"Everybody remember where we parked." -Admiral Kirk, ST:IV
"Everybody remember where we parked." --Adm. Kirk, ST:IV
"Everyone lives by selling something." - R.L. Stevenson
"Experience comes from bad judgment." - Mark Twain.
"Facts are stupid things" - R. Reagan
"Fishes are born in water--man is born in Tao." -Chuang Tzu
"Frank, take this guy out!" "C'mere you..."
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a download!" -Rhett Sysop
"Free Willy II" Starring Lorena Bobbit.
"Garlic roll, Barnabas?" "Garlic? Aieeeee!!"
"Girls just want to have lunch." --A. Yankovic
"Go ahead. Attack me with that banana."
"God is subtle, but he is not malicious" -Einstein
"Gosh!", the young girl panted, "Your HARD DISK is so... BIG!"
"Gullible" isn't in the dictionary. Go ahead, look it up!
"Happiness is a warm puppy." said the anaconda.
"Hard DISK? Damn, I misread the advertisement" Old Maid
"Have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?"
"He was such a meanie, so I cut off his weinie." --Lorena Bobbit
"He's dead, Jim." "I've got dibbs on the white meat."
"He's not as big a fool as he was." "Smarter?" "No, thinner."
"Heads are gonna roll..." Henry VIII
"Heeeeey! Dats CRAZY, maaaan!"
"Hello, good evening, and welcome to `Blackmail'!"
"Hey Bush, Saddam still has his job. Have you got yours?"
"Hey Lorena! Got any leftovers?" --Jeffrey Dahmer
"Hey! I don't remember XXX programs in the Holodeck!"
"Hey, Laser-lips! Your mama was a snowblower!"
"Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a SysOp outta my hat!"
"Hi! I'm Tonya Harding, and I use 'The Club'..."
"Hit me again, I love it!" Soddam Hussein
"Hobbes did it , Mom!"
"How did you survive the shipwreck?" "I grabbed soap and washed ashore."
"How do I get down from this haystack?" "Close your eyes and walk a bit."
"How fortunate for rulers, that men do not think." -Adolf Hitler
"How long can a man live without brains?" "How old are you?"
"How the hell did you work that out?" - Pythagoras.
"How's your insomnia?" "Bad. I can't even sleep when its time to get
"Humor: It's a difficult concept." --Moderator
"I *could* be arguing in my spare time."
"I am a Klingon, I do NOT whistle while I work."
"I am Elmer of Borg. Wesistence is usewess... huhuhuhuhuh..."
"I am NOT a number, I am a free man!" -No.
"I believe in peace and bashing two bricks together."
"I can see more than you think with this thing." --LaForge
"I can't be a juror. I think that guy's guilty." "That's the D.A."
"I can't make it out. It's either WELCOME or KEEP AWAY" -Moe
"I chop down trees, I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra."
"I could prove God statistically." --Geroge Gallup
"I did it. I killed them all." Timothy
"I do not think you will accept my help, as I'm waiting to kill you."
"I don't care about justice. Only about the law." -- Mako
"I don't deserve a zero on this test." "Its the lowest score I can give."
"I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache!" -Athur Dent
"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates.
"I fart in your general direction!"
"I feel happy! I feel happy! I feel happy!" <thwack>
"I feel sorry for the lions." -Any Jesuit
"I got everything up to the part about `Now listen closely'" -The Cat
"I graduated college with 103 degrees." "103 degrees?" "I had a fever."
"I had a re-think", said a re-incarnated Descartes
"I hate quotations. Tell me what YOU know." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I have a vewwy gweat fwend in Wome called Bigguth Dickuth."
"I have morals. I just keep misplacing them."
"I just can't help myself."
"I know what I know, if you know what I mean." -Edie Brickell
"I know you're out there somewhere..." -Moody Blues
"I like a man who grins when he fights." - Churchill
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
"I once saw a bed twenty feet by ten." "Sounds like a lot of bunk to me".
"I said a BUD light!" - David Koresh
"I spent the summer in Switzerland." "Berne?" "No, nearly froze."
"I suppose you think I'm a perfect idiot." "No, you're not perfect."
"I think not!" said Descartes, who promptly disappeared
"I think the phrase rhymes with 'clucking bell'" - BlackAdder
"I think therefore I am", said Descartes
"I thought I could smell petrol." - Nikki Lauder.
"I want to do something big and clean." "Go wash an elephant."
"I want to hear you scream in pain." "Play some rap."
"I want you to know I'm feeling very depressed right now." -Marvin
"I wave my private parts at your auntie!"
"I won't stand for this!" "then sit down." "Allright..." "Wimp!"
"I'd be a Christian if it weren't for the Christians." -M. Ghandi
"I'd like 'The Ronettes Sing English Agrarian History', please..."
"I'll be Bach" -Johann Sebastian Swartzenegger.
"I'm doing this for your own good" -Any parent or executioner
"I'm heavily armed, easily bored and OFF my medication..."
"I'm not a witch, I'm a love technician" - Madonna
"I'm not asz think asz you drunk I am, Ossifer!"
"I'm not overweight, I'm undertall!" --Garfield
"I'm not really bad, I'm just drawn that way." --Jessica Rabbit
"I'm too sexy for the Borg, too sexy for the Borg..." -Jean-Luc Picard
"I've risen and I can't get down!" - Jesus at a disco.
"I...I wanted to be...a lumberjack!"
"If 'Q' were castrated, would he become 'O'?" --Lorena Bobbit
"If folks wuz moral, we could ALL go naked." Brother Dave
"If he catches you, you're through" - Road Runner.
"If it aint a wolf, it's a hell of a big dog" said the little pig
"If my calculations are correct (and they always are)..."
"If the shoe fits, buy it." -Imelda Marcos
"If winning isn't important then why keep score?" -Worf
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance!"
"If you're happy and you know it, SHREAD YOUR CAT!"
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Einstein
"imagine there's no moderators..." --john lennon
"In case of doubt, make it sound convincing."
"In Case of Fire, Log off Promptly."
"In case of fire....yell ""FIRE""."
"In case of rapture, please grab the wheel."
"In closing" is always followed by the other half of the speech.
"In fact, I DON'T put my pants on one leg on leg at a time"
"In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present."
"In nomine patre, et filis, et spiritu sancte. Amen"
"In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it."
"In plumbing, a straight flush is better than a full house!"
"Invent a wise saying and live forever!" -Anonymous.
"Is it SOUP yet?" --J. Dahmer
"Is it too loud out there?" Jimi at Berkley
"Is there a John there?" "No." "What do you do, pee out the window?"
"Is this the real life?" --Freddie Mercury, 11/24/92
"Isn't everybody happy?" - Machiavelli
"It does look like her" - Picasso.
"It has many other uses as well. Allow me." --Worf
"It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
"It's a terrible thing to waste one's mind." --Dan Quayle
"It's all Greek to me." - Alexander the Great
"It's an excellent proof, but it lacks warmth and feeling..."
"It's good to see you, too." -H Livingstone, M.D.
"It's like those miserable Psalms...they're so depressing!"
"It's not their fault they're not Japanese" -Japanese saying
"It's the American Cancer Society." "TELL THEM WE DON'T WANT ANY!"
"It's..."
"Just put on a happy face." -- Hannibal Lecter
"Leadership is intelligence, humaneness and courage." -Sun Tzu
"Lemming, Lemming...Lemming of the BDA..."
"Let me sweeten the deal a bit for you," - Beelzebub.
"Let me sweeten the deal a little" -Beelzebub
"Let's win this one and go home." - George A. Custer
"Life is full of little surprises." - Pandora.
"Life without learning is death." --Cicero
"Live long and suffer" -Ancient Vulcan curse
"Logic is logic. That's all I say." Holmes
"Loneliness begins when the spaces are filled." -The Tao of Pooh
"Look at all the indians!" - G. Custer
"Look at all the Indians!" - General Custer
"Love -- a grave mental disease." Plato
"Luke, don't turn off the flashlight! That leads to the Dark Side."
"Make love not war" people probably flunked both.
"Man in clean shirt no fix laser printers" - Confusus
"Masturbation is just too painful." - E. Scissorhands.
"May all your desires be granted at once." -Ancient Chinese curse
"May all your wishes come true." -Ancient Persian curse
"May you live in exciting times." -Ancient Chinese curse
"Maybe the universe *is* fuzzy." --Hubble Telescope Scientists
"Milhouse, we live in the age of cooties!" Bart Simpson
"Modem," said the gardener when he'd finished the lawn
"MOM! LOOK! I'm evolved!"
"Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition" --Intel
"Music is the space between the notes." -Claude Debussy
"My other computer is the Graphic Omnicient Device." Dr. Asimov
"Never get off the boat." -Captain Willard
"Nietzsche is dead" -God
"No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up." -Lily Tomlins
"No! A BUD light!" -Jean d'Arc
"No, I didn't." - Teddy Kennedy
"No, I said Bud Light!" - Captain of the Hindenburg
"No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space." --Adm. Kirk, ST:IV
"No, Woody, I said to TUCK the kids in bed!" - Mia Farrow
"No. She Sister, me doctor, you Mr. Bertenshaw."
"Norwegian Blues stun easily, Major."
"Not a problem."--Parker Lewis
"Now THAT'S comedy!"
"Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk" - Curly Howard
"Off with her head!" shouted the Queen.
"Oh be quiet. Can't you see I'm busy dying?" -H. G. Wells
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he deleted his hard drive.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he deleted the entire message base.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he fell into the toilet.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he fell off the prostitute.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he found he'd used a dirty needle.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he got trapped in the printer.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he had Eeyore for dinner.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's corpse with Roo's.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he loaded his last round.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he puked on Christopher Robin.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he pulled the cat off his face.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he reached for the reset button.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he read alt.fan.bill-gates.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he received his CompuServe bill.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he saw the mushroom cloud.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he started up Norton Utilities.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he struggled with his condom.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he twitted his moderator.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he wrestled with the moderator.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as the police closed in.
"Oh dear. I think you'll find reality's gone on the blink again."
"Oh no, not again!" -- Bowl of Petunias
"Oh, bother!" said Pooh, and twitted the moderator.
"Oh, no! Cannibals!" "Now don't get in a stew."
"One for the money, two for the money, three for the money."
"Oops." -- Richard Nixon
"Parser? Parsnip? - What's the difference?" W. Erickson
"Quoth the Raven, 'Eat my shorts!'" -Bart
"Refresh my memory: Which 'final warning' is this?"
"Rikes Raggy, It's a rhost!" - S. Doo
"Scatterd showers my ass" - Noah.
"Scattered showers my arse...." Noah
"Scotty! I've fallen and I can't beam up!"
"Seems quiet to me." -Last words of General Custer.
"Slash. Maim. Mutilate." -Any Cookbook
"So, you're going to start a bakery?" "If I can raise the dough."
"Some days it all seems so feudal." King Arthur
"Space is very big." -Dan Quayle
"Spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, wonderful spam!" -The Vikings
"Stamp out software hoarding"--Free Software Foundation
"Stop saying that Pinky, or I'm going to have to hurt you."
"Stwike him wather wuffly, centurion!"
"Tagwine twacks!"
"That's an odd name; mind if we call you Bruce?"
"That's entertainment," - Vlad the Impaler.
"That's not a real gun..." John Lennon
"The above Statement is absolutely True." --God
"The computer says ITS intelligence is real and OURS is artificial!"
"The First Law of War: Never get involved in a land war in Asia."
"The game is afoot!" --Sherlock Holmes
"The Guide is definitive, reality is frequently inacurate."
"The more RAM you have, the better", M. Chambers
"The ONLY good cat is a stir-fried cat." --Alf
"The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi."
"The Second Law of War: Never march on Moscow!"
"The Third Law of War: Never *ever* attack the United States."
"There's nothing like a good hard drive", X. Hollander
"They wouldn't say it if it wasn't true." - Earl on TV Ads, Dinosaurs
"They're still using money. We've got to find some." -Adm. Kirk
"Thief" is so ugly. I prefer "Creative Acquisition Specialist."
"Things are always at their best in the beginning." --Pascal
"This above all; to thine own self be true." -Shakespeare
"This castle hasn't been touched in 600 years." "Must have our landlord."
"This linament makes my arm smart." "Better rub some on your head."
"This man's dying!" "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not...oh."
"Thish iz an APB. Inveshtigate a drunk inna radio shtation."
"Those who know don't tell; those who tell don't know" -Lao-Tze
"To do is to be"-Rousseau "To be is to do"-Sartre "Dobedobedo"-Sinatra
"To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." -Sun Tzu
"Twit *.*" typed the moderator, smiling.
"Use the mouse, Luke!" - Obi Wan Gates.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes."
"Wait while I look up Unicorn. No sense shooting it if its extinct."
"Waiter, this coffee is like mud." "It was only ground this morning."
"Wake up, its time for your sleeping pills."
"We appologize for the inconvenience."
"We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him" Napoleon
"We only publish writers with well-known names." "Great, mine's Smith!"
"We smoked it!"
"We'd like to apologize for that last apology..."
"We'll remove any stain & sew up the hole" - Dodgy Bros laundry
"We're off to see the wizard..."
"We've a few loose ends to attend to..." --Bobbit trial juror
"We've adopted Satan." -Problem Child
"Weapons do not remain stockpiled." -Tenzin Gyatso
"Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you."
"Well it looks like her..." Picasso
"Well, a shack full of fireworks! Isn't that conveeeeeeenient?"
"Well, I'm speechless!" "Good, stay that way."
"Well, the train ride is smoother now." "Yes, we're off the track."
"What do I have to do to convince you people?" --Q "Die." --Worf
"What do you mean, 'you've got a little job for me'?" -Hercules
"What do you mean, you formatted the dog?"
"What do you mean? An African or European swallow?"
"What do you see?" "Ugly black spots!"
"What flavour milkshake?" -Food Dispenser "Beer." -Lister
"What the heck was THAT?!?" --Mayor of Hiroshima, 08/06/45
"Where are you?" "Here." "You OK?" "Yes." "Then I've shot a deer."
"Where does he get all those marvelous toys?" - Bush
"Where does he get all those marvelous toys?" - L Lovelace
"Where was he born?" "On a farm." "Any others in the litter?"
"Where's all the water comming from?" - Captain of the Titanic.
"Wherever I go, there I am." -Pooh
"Which way did he go? Which way did he go, George?"
"Who cares for you? You're but a deck of cards," -Alice.
"Who cares if it doesn't do anything? It was made with our new Triple-Iso-B
"WHO let that F*CKING woman drive?!!" NASA 1987
"Who sewed this thing on sideways?" --John Bobbit
"Whom the gods love, die young." -Byron
"Whose side are you on?" "That would be telling!"
"Why are you eating with your knife?" "My fork leaks."
"Why are you wearing my new raincoat?" "To keep your new suit dry."
"Why does it hurt when I pee?"
"Why is your car hopping down the road?" "I've got HIC hiccups."
"Why remember quotes when you can make them up?" -@N@
"Women...you can't live with 'em...pass the beer nuts." -Norm
"Worf, fire at will!" *BzZT* "Hey, where'd Riker go?"
"YES! It's the Duke of Kent to the rescue!"
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." -L. Long
"You can't drown, you fool...you're immortal!" - Highlander
"You fat, bloated EEEEEDIOT!"
"You hair's thinning." "So who wants fat hair?"
"You hammer nails like lightning." "Fast?" "No, never the same spot
"You know better than to trust a strange computer!" - Threepio
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." -The Man In Black
"You sick little monkey!"
"You want WHAT on the ceiling?!?!?" - Michaelangelo.
"You're ditthpicable!"
"You're pretty pissed, aren't you, Dave?" - HAL 9000
"You're the computer...YOU tell me where the file is!"
"Your mother rides a dustbuster!"
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons."
'E's NOT the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy!!
'Personal hygiene is the key to success'- L Lovelace
'Til death do us part -- 'Til she kills him.
(expletive deleted) -R. Nixon
(Ice rocks hit the hull) Captain, we are being hailed!
3 most deadly words, "Go ahead..shoot"
9 out of 10 LAPD endorse the use of the CLUB! - R. King
<Sssssssssssssssssss>...."Winona ! Please.....not NOW !"
@FN@'s an odd name. Mind if we call you Bruce?
A wise man once said.... I don't know...
A wise man once said...... Water is Wet!
Actually, I'm only 21 years old -- Celcius!
Adam to Eve:"I'll wear the plants in this family!"
Advertising is legalized lying. - H.G. Wells
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
Alas Poor Yorick, I think you're dead
Americans call it fast food because it speeds them to the grave.-Chiun
An old Chinese man once said: Damn!
And they said unto Jesus, "how the *HECK* did you do that?!?"
And Uncle jerome said,"So shut up already."
And yet another attack of the 50 year old jokes...
As my grandfather had said in his last words, A TRUCK!
As Socrates once said, "I drank WHAT?"
ASCII and you shall receive --Z. Modem
Aunt Em. Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. Dorothy.
Aww Peg, not in the daylight! I can SEE you!
Back off man, I'm a scientist. - Bill Murray, Ghostbusters.
Be careful with that saw!, Tom said offhandedly.
Boop Boop Bee Boop - Betty Boop
Brian! Come on, let's go to the stoning.
C'mon Thor, don't make me shove this thing up your butt! - B&B
Call it a hunch - Quasimodo.
Chance favours the trained mind. -- Pastuer
Children? Love children! Girl children, 19,20 years old- W.C. Fields
Choose your friends carefully - Y. Arafat
Cleopatra: How did these f***ing snakes get on my tits!
Come home Oedipus, all is forgiven. Mum.
Confucious say woman lousy flier, have crack-up anyway!
Confucious say, woman with cold hands have fire under skirt.
Confucious say: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucious say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tongue.
Confucious Say: Boilin water is very hot.
Confucious Say: Boiling water is very hot!
Confucious say: Couple who make love in strawberry patch have ass in jam.
Confucious say: Find old man in dark, not hard!
Confucious say: Girl who fly upside down have crack up.
Confucious say: keeping it in family sure sound incestuous.
Confucious say: Man should never straddle barbed wire fences.
Confucious say: Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Confucious say: Many with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Confucious say: Put Rooster in Freezer Get A Stiff Cock.
Confucious Say: Rook before you reap!
Confuciuos say: Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Confucius say, "Stop quoting me!"
Confucius say, Shit happens.
Cripes, Saddam, I thought you said SHORT oil!
Curly; " Oooh, short wave?" Moe: "No, permanent."
Do what you want with the girl, but let me go!
East credit terms available. - Satan.
Engaging in an involuntary protein spill (George Carlin)
Evil triumphs when good people do nothing. - Einstein
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - A. Huxley
Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
Famous last words - Jesus Christ: Father, beam me up.
Famous last words - Lion at the Circus of Rome: Burp..
Famous Last Words : "This dungeon is a pushover."
Famous last words: "Oops."
Famous last words: 'You saw a WHAT around the corner?!'
Famous Last Words: Dont Push that but......
Famous last words: This is the safe way to do it.......
Famous Last Words: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
For a funny quote, call back late.
For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me.
Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
Gotta love me...I'm the baby. - baby dinosaur - DINOSAURS
Grass is nature's way of saying "High!"
Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum tastes funny."
Hasta la vista, Baby!
Have a nice day!" "No thanks, I have other plans."
He: Baby, drinking makes you beautiful. She: I don't drink. He: I do.
Here's my offering for the day:
Heyyyyyyy Abbot, I'm a Baaaaaad Boy!
Holy Razorblades, Batman. That was a close shave.
How fortunate for rulers, that men do not think.--Adolph Hitler
I am a man more sinned against than sinning. - King Lear.
I can't believe you quoted the WHOLE THING!..
I come from a minority, my parents loved me. - B. Seigel
I live in a quiet neighborhood -- I'm dead!
I see nothing...NOTH-ING! -Sgt. Schultz
I swear to tell the truth, so help me me. -George Burns
I think you're pretty tough, don't I? ==Daffy Duck==
I'll be Bach.- Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
I'm afraid I don't follow you, old chap. -Watson
I'm da baby....gotta love me!
I'm having an old friend for dinner.-- H. Lecter
If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." B Gates
In the end, gravity wins -- Dolly Parton
Jesus to Multitude: "What, 5000 of you and no one brought a sandwich?"
Kirk does S&M: "Beat me up, Scotty."
Lie me alibi -- Steven King.
LOOK DAVE, I CAN SEE YOU'RE REALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS.
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a...oh, YUCK!!
Mr.President? Incoming,sir. Launch code?
Never trust a person who says, "Trust Me" . . .
Nice jail. Looks strong . . . H. Houdiniÿ
No, I said, "No nude Texans."
Noah! Come quick! There's water in the basement!
Not allowed? My dear fellow, I'm allowed everywhere. - Dr who.
Ooooh, yech. How did THAT get in my bed? - Prez Reagan:*)
Open the bathroom doors, HAL. HAL? Come on HAL, I'm not kidding...!
Pee-Wee Herman:If sh*t happens, don't get it on your hand\
Pom, said Pooh. I put that in to make it more hummy.
Quote from the Brooklyn Shakespeare Festival "To be, or what?"
Quote the Raven 'Hey, lick me, buddy!'
Quote the Raven: FUGGETABOUDIT!
Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts."
Reply to messages is easy.. It's all this stupid quoting that's hard!
Schwartzanegger doing Shakespear: To Be or Not To Be, but I'll be back!
Set phasers to Cajun Style.
Shut up Beavis, we're missing this video and it doesn't even suck!
Sincerity? I can fake that. - Hawkeye Pierce
Sorry about that, Chief -- Maxwell Smart "86"
Take your thumb outta your ear and stick it back in your butt! -B&B
There's my request... Thanks for helping me fatten my tagline collection...
This quote is worth $16 in a twisted, dememted way.
To be, or what? - Sylvester Stallone
To quote Alfred E. Neuman: "What! Me worry????"
TOWER: "Say position." PILOT: "Position."
Trust the stunt man, Luke...
Use the Fork at the dinner table, Luke. Not the Force.
We interrupt this quote for an important bulletin...
We're only immortal--for a limited time. -- Neil Peart
Weww, wadda-ya know .. no more buwwets....
What's this button do...ZAP....Ben?..Ben! - Luke Skywalker.
Where do these stairs go? --- "They go up."
Where is everything? All I typed was "Format c:".
Why do Chinese philosophers always try to Confucious?
Windows? What's Windows? I use OS/2. * Bill Gates
Yeah, I've been injured. I've got a big crack in my butt - Butthead.
You cannot kill time without assaulting eternity.
You killed Ted, you medieval dick-weed! - Bill